Seymour Mace: Squeg!

Squeg?

SQUARE PEG. It's going to be different everyday, I've gone back to basics and am just trying to be funny like I used to be before comedy became my career and had all the fun sucked out of it.

Last year you performed your Happypotamus show for us in The Skinny's office. What was that like?

I was trepidatious at first but I've done a lot weirder gigs than crammed into a tiny office with a small but appreciative crowd and convenient photocopier access, probably the weirdest being whilst on the southern coast of Greece when I jumped, fully dinner suited up, from a bridge on the harbour into the Mediterranean Sea and had to be rescued by an onlooker. Oh yeah, and that gig I did in Robert Louis Stevenson's imagination, that was fudged up.

Happypotamus dealt with some tough themes and seemed to be somewhat cathartic. Did you finish last August feeling happier about life?

I did, I felt brilliant but unfortunately it didn't last. I guess the Edinburgh Festival's not a cure for depression; bugger!

So what's a Squeg then? Can it be expressed in human language?

Course it can, you express it by saying Squeg!

For the sake of our subeditors, can you clarify the correct usage of squeg? Can we say squegish, squegy, squeging? What is the plural of squeg?

The plural is Squeeg and you can use it however you want as long as it doesn't feature alongside phrases like 'talentless bag of shitwank.'

Will audience members be provided with squeg or should they bring their own from home?

If they've got one they should definitely bring it, I'd love to see what it looks like.

Who else will you be trying to see during the Fringe?

I'll be trying, and more than likely failing, to see everyone I happen to chat to but the people I'll be actually seeing will be all my Stand 2 homies and Michael Redmond because I'm still not sure if he's real.

Squeg?

It's actually a real word, a verb that means, of an electronic circuit or component, to produce an output that oscillates between a certain maximum and zero, especially when due to the effect of a grid.

I just want to take this opportunity to state that the show is not about this as I would hate any electronic output oscillation fans to turn up and be disappointed.