Loretta Maine: Bipolar - Interview

So then, tell us about your show?
It's about ME and it's a music concert and you're gonna have the best time ever.

How have your previews been going?
Amazing. Apart from the one where the old man told me I was disgusting and should be ashamed of myself. But actually that just made me prouder. I am disgusting! Disgustingly AWESOME.

How are you going to keep it fresh for the full three weeks?
Swap wines. Maybe move off the Echo Falls to some Oxford Landing. Whatever's on 3 for £10.

Is it ultimately worth coming to the Fringe?
Yes. You lose so much weight due to stress and bad diet and you can sleep with so many inappropriate people without anyone judging you till September. Essentially, the Edinburgh Festival is a Bad Behaviour Credit Card. But the interest rate is HUGE.

What's your health regime for the Fringe?
Tunnocks, Red Bull, running from the police.

What's the worst mistake people make at the Fringe?
Drinking Irn Bru. NOTHING SHOULD BE THAT COLOR!

Last year's Fringe was all about the London riots. What major news event do you think will force you to hurriedly rewrite your 2012 show?
What? What kind of question is this? How was it all about the riots? What Fringe were you at? No news story will make me change my show about me unless the news is about me. And lets face it, that ain't likely because NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN.

Do you pay your taxes?
I asked Bono for some advice and he said as a musician I didn't have to as long as I have my photo taken with a sickly child once a year.

What was your favourite joke when you were a kid?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry the cat.
I WASN'T GOOD AT JOKES BACK THEN.

Is it possible to be bitter and angry at the Fringe?
Yes. Come see my show dickface.

How do you think you and Courtney Love would get along?
It would be the best slumber party ever! We'd braid each other's hair and then play Russian Roulette whilst singing some Alanis.

Who is in your dream supergroup?
I am singing and guitar and banjo and that, then Ringo on drums, Sid Vicious on bass and Jules Holland on the keys. And then Salt 'N' Pepa on backing vocals. And we'd have a great time and they would all love me and be like "Why aren't you a big popstar like Rhianna?" and I'll be like "BECAUSE I CAN'T PULL OFF PATTERNED LEGGINGS."

Who else are you hoping to see while you're in Edinburgh?
Trodd en Bratt NOT JUST COS THEY'RE MY FRIENDS ACTUALLY. Miriam Margolyes 'cause she is awesome. And Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer and Mat Ricardo because he does AMAZING things with his hands. NOT A SEX JOKE

BYE.

Read our review of Loretta Maine: Bipolar at Fringe Fest