Sometimes I Think About Dying
Daisy Ridley gives a superbly understated performance in this wry, wistful drama about a character discovering meaning in life
Fran (Daisy Ridley) thinks about what it would be like to hang from the crane outside her office window, or decompose in a bug-filled forest, or wash up like driftwood on the beach. She clicks buttons on her computer at an undefined office job. She stands silently in the corner of her colleague’s retirement party, taking cake and almost running back to her desk as soon as possible. Only the arrival of the replacement – Robert (Dave Merheje), who quietly, stubbornly refuses to let Fran exist in her isolation – offers a new, non-dead future.
Sometimes I Think About Dying takes a wry, wistful look at finding meaning in life when caught between social anxiety and the inevitable, interminable need to work, eat and find companionship. The grey- and beige-tinged production design expertly recreates the most tired version of the modern middle-corporate world as Fran observes Washington State’s shipyards and square brick buildings while moving between stifling home and office interiors. The desaturated palette and tired decor make the film an almost timeless slice of Americana – albeit punctured by Slack messages and jokes about #nofilter vacation photos.
Originally a 2013 play and then a 2019 short film, director Rachel Lambert and writers Kevin Armento, Stefanie Abel Horowitz, and Katy Wright-Mead balance the macabre, awkward, and bittersweet, helped by Ridley’s superb, understated performance. Sometimes I Think About Dying does not insist its characters change to fit in, but that they share their whole selves with trust. The end result is better, sweeter, and more memorable for it.
Sometimes I Think About Dying had its UK premiere at Glasgow Film Festival on 7 Mar and is released on 19 Apr by Vertigo