Phagomania: The Birth of the Burizza

Whether you are a discerning food aficionado or someone with no self respect who shoves together whatever food they have to hand, it seems we’re all doing much the same thing. The latest trend in the hip-and-happening New York food scene is for adventurous ‘hybrid foods’. Think exhibit ‘A’ is pretty good, but love exhibit ‘B’? Well, why limit yourself to one when you can have both?

It all started in May with the invention of the Cronut™, thought up and trademarked by the Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York. It can be roughly described as ‘half croissant, half doughnut'. The recipe involves a folded pastry similar to a croissant, deep fried, filled with cream, rolled in sugar and glazed. I know! They have sold out every day since invention to massive queues and gone viral on the interwebz.

Things move fast among food scenesters, and no sooner had we met the Cronut™ than it was time for 'the new cronut'. Behold, the mighty ramen burger (not trademarked). It is a beef burger with ramen noodle buns! Conceived by a ramen noodle blogger, Keizo Shimamoto, it features a special shoyu sauce and spring onions. How those fried ramen buns work is a guarded secret, but expect to see more of this fella on a tweet near you.

It seems there is a front-runner to the movement – the ‘patient zero’ of pointless food mash-ups. The Dutch Taco from Flavour Spot in Portland, Oregon, is a waffle taco filled with a breakfast fry-up. The most popular version is several slices of bacon and maple syrup housed within the waffle taco. Yep.

It turns out that our perverse preference for outlandish food combinations is right on the money for this craze, and here at Phagomania we don’t just report, we act. So here’s the burizza (not trademarked, yet). It combines two established, fairly unhealthy fast foods and results in one artery-clogging, building-smashing godzilla of a fast food. You may have already noted our convenient illustrated guide, but here’s what you do.

Start off with your pizza (thin or thick, your choice). Thin pizzas give multiple folding opportunities, whereas thicker ones are happy just slapped in half. Next, prepare your fillings. Rice, fried beef or pork strips in taco seasoning, guacamole, sour cream, grated cheese, salsa, jalapeños, you name it.

The premise is simple: fill your pizza like you would a burrito. Fold carefully and you’re ready to say ‘Buon appetito provecho’. Upon the first trial our grateful testers said,  “this is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten”, “you could open a shop selling these”, and “I’m really going to regret this tomorrow”. Yes fellow Phagomaniacs, the catch is that even the most spritely and able body will be out of action for a good while after one of these bad boys. You're welcome.