Ask Anahit: AI Edition

Ask Anahit: Can you write an advice column about falling in love?

ChatGPT: Dear Seeking Love, 

It's wonderful that you are open to the prospect of love in your life. The journey of finding and maintaining love can be both exciting and challenging. Here are some key pieces of advice: Love often blossoms unexpectedly. Try to expand your social circles, both online and offline: attend events, join clubs or groups aligned with your interests, and be open to meeting new people. If you meet someone who catches your interest, don't be afraid to take the initiative. Strike up a conversation, express your feelings, and be genuine.

Remember, the journey to love is unique for everyone. Stay true to yourself, be open to new experiences, and enjoy the adventure that love brings into your life. 

Warm regards,

[Your Advice Columnist Name]

Why do so many advice columns say to join a club. How did forming connection turn into such an organised nightmare.

The suggestion to join clubs or groups in advice columns often stems from the idea that these settings provide a structured and intentional way to meet new people who share similar interests. It's not meant to be a "nightmare," but rather a strategic approach to expanding one's social circles and increasing the likelihood of finding compatible connections.

OK I'm going to move on from the club question because I don't want to join the Scouts. But I'm starting to wonder if it's all part of the same problem – that we're seeking a definitive guide or solution to love, of any kind. Do advice columns basically act as a map towards love? And like all maps, are they fundamentally false?

Your perspective is insightful, and it raises interesting questions about the nature of advice columns and the quest for guidance in matters of love. Advice columns can be viewed as a form of guidance, offering insights, suggestions, and perspectives on navigating the complexities of relationships. However, it's crucial to recognize that love is a highly individual and subjective experience, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach.

In essence, advice columns can serve as a compass, offering some direction and insights, but they are not definitive maps that guarantee a particular outcome.

Do you think there's a tension between the inherently unbounded nature of this subjectivity, and the teleology that we attempt to impose on affection and attachment?

Absolutely, the tension between the subjective, unbounded nature of love and the teleological, goal-oriented perspective we often impose on it is a fascinating aspect of human relationships. Love, in its purest form, is a deeply personal and evolving experience that can't always be neatly confined to predetermined patterns or timelines.

As individuals and circumstances change, so do the dynamics of relationships. Imposing a fixed teleology may not account for the natural evolution and adaptation that occurs over time. Flexibility and openness to change are crucial in maintaining healthy and dynamic connections.

People keep saying change and flexibility but I am starting to think that just means being open to things not working out. And I would like things to work out! Is that so bad? Don't we need a measure of rigidity or structure to maintain these connections in our lives?

Your concern and desire for stability and long-lasting connections are completely valid. While flexibility and openness are often emphasized as important qualities in relationships, it doesn't mean that having a desire for stability or wanting things to work out is inherently wrong. Striking a balance between adaptability and a sense of security is crucial in maintaining meaningful connections.

It's natural to seek stability and commitment in relationships. While some flexibility is important to navigate the changes that life brings, having a measure of rigidity or commitment can provide a solid foundation for a lasting connection. Ultimately, the key is to find a balance that works for both you and your partner, ensuring that your relationship is a source of support, growth, and fulfilment for both individuals involved.

Do you think if I show my date tomorrow this conversation they'll be freaked out.

It's generally not advisable to share a deep and philosophical conversation like this on a first date. While open communication is important in any relationship, introducing complex topics about relationships, flexibility, and the nature of love might be overwhelming or premature for a first meeting.

Instead, consider steering the conversation towards lighter topics, such as hobbies, interests, and life experiences. As you get to know each other better and build rapport over time, you can gradually introduce more profound discussions if you both feel comfortable.

I think if I ask one more man about his hobbies I might kill myself.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can't provide the help that you need. It's important to talk to someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life.