Ask Anahit: Baby It's Cold Inside

How does one have great sex during an Edinburgh winter? I have been here for almost five winters and it’s now pretty obvious my sex drive just plummets this time of year. The desire is there but it’s too cold to undress, let alone wear sexy things. I can’t afford to put my heating up to steamy temperatures (it stays at 17 and that already costs me A LOT). I have even tried prepping the bed with a hot water bottle but it sure doesn’t set a sexy or spontaneous mood. How do people do it out here in the winter gloomy cold months??

God bless you friend, for this seasonally appropriate question that I will answer – in detail! – in the magazine my parents subscribe to. Perhaps I will print them a redacted copy, but in the meantime – oh boy, yeah, it’s rough (cold) out there (inside). And it’s not just the cold! It’s dark! Everyone’s depressed! It’s really hard to find good lighting! I truly love Scotland so much but I also can’t believe we live like this. No wonder this country’s so repressed.

So, some practicalities. I am loath to tell you to buy a gimp suit, even though they sure do look toasty, but there are sexy, long-sleeved things you can wear that aren’t skimpy lingerie. Anything sheer with nothing on underneath is super hot, and very much giving Franz Rogowski in Passages (do not copy any of the rest of his behaviour). I also think having sex with chunky socks on, whatever Rachel Green says, is cute, but what do I know. High denier stockings are also a vibe (Nicole Beharie wore them in Shame, and what is that film if not an advert for commendable sex). Due to health and safety laws I cannot tell you to fuck under an electric blanket, but I can suggest putting one in the bed and whipping it out as soon as the door buzzes. 

I do think, though, that you’re concerned less with how to have sex than how you feel about it. There’s a term in sexology (OK, Lizzy Caplan) called sexual currency, which is the maintaining of an erotic charge through words, touch, looks etc. We’re not always able to function at a super high sex drive in terms of actual "consummation" (maybe you’ve just had a baby, maybe it has been raining for eight days on end), but it is possible (and essential!) to keep reacting to each other as desirable and desired beings. After all, sex is better when it’s an energy that builds; otherwise it’s just something that…happens. I guess what I’m saying is, take those nudes, send those disgusting texts, flirt like crazy. If it’s too cold to take your jumper off, you don’t have to stop having a horny time.